B.A.C.K

Well...i feel a lot better today than yesterday. This may seem type crazy but who cares, i feel much better about going back to HarlemLive on Monday with my head held high. it's because i realized that it was very selfish of me to quit out on my team the way i did. i want to say to my team mates...Chris, Jose', Manuel, Raven, Darryl, Mary that I apologize for my selfishness & that I will return tomorrow with a better attitude. i still believe that we can win this competition if we just stick together even if things aren't going well. this weekend & many other things made my attitude change about a lot of things...not even necessarily HarlemLive but just my life in general. A lot of things were going on with myself that i couldn't figure out or that i just couldn't seem to shoo away from me. & i just want to say that D-Nyce is back in full effect(lol that was like so 90's) & this is gonna b my shortest blog ever cuz when i get back my work will speak for itself!

A New Me!!

wow! thas all i have 2 say rite now. my father brought this book in a few days ago about this thing called "the secret". evry1 in my house was all psyched ova the book & was tryna explain this "secret" 2 me but i really didnt pay it any mind-until i went on sum1s page (manuel) & watched the video he had on his myspace. & im tellin u that i feel wonderful. a whole lot betta than a few hours ago. its like a brand new me was born in jus about 10 minutes! i sat back & re-evaluated myself & realized that i am a very negative person. meanin that i think these negative thoughts (not sexual lol) & i wonder why these badd things keep happenin 2 me. its really bcuz i have 2 change my thought patterns. i finally undertsand "the secret" & i wish that evry1 knew about it. if evry1 in the world knew about "the secret" then this world would b a betta place. I started writin my creative process list & i know that it'll work. wat i still want 2 read up on in my fathers book is that im havin a hard time believin that anythin in this world that i want i can attract it 2 me. thas crazy! i mean anythin, they said. & that goes 4 the badd things as well. if i continue 2 think about wat i dont want 2 do, wat i cant do, & wat will neva happen then thas exactly wat i will get. POSITIVE. thas my word 4 2day. & even though it'll b hard alterin 14 years of my negative thinkin pattern, its worth it. its worth all the pain, guilt & anguish that i have been experiencin in my life...GONE! i figured that the reason why i think like this is because wen i get my hopes up high & it doesnt cum true i hate the feelin of disappointment. but now i kno that the reason why it didnt cum true is that i have had doubts about it cumin true all along. evrythin that has ever happen 2 me i attracted 2 me. sum way, sum how. it'll start 2 make more sense 2 me wen 1 of these miracles cum true (& i kno they will). wen a particular feelin or thought crosses ova me it is immediately sent in2 the universe & it then begans 2 redesign itself so that my thought or feelin can happen. now im not gonna go around preachin this cuz i kno that 1 day im gonna slip up but i do wanna fully understand wat "the secret" is all about. 4 me 2 truly kno that "the secret" works ima have 2 experience 1 of the things on my creative process list & from then on that'll b my way of life.

Me Against Da World

Thats how im feelin rite now! its jus me against the world. or mayb jus me against my motha. its like lately she dont trust me cuz im 14, very pretty ;-), and developed. she feels that jus bcuz this was around the age my older sister started 2 act out that im gonna become rebellious & start buggin 2. & u kno wat? i jus mite start 2 do that! all my life i've been depicted as the type of gurl thats perfect & neva does anythin wrong & that may sound gud but actually it isnt cuz wen i do end up doin sumthin wrong its truns in2 world war 100 up in here. wen i do sumthin wrong she always wants 2 throw the fact that im 14 in my face 2 make it seem like jus cuz im that age ima go have sex w/ evry dude in the world & that ima end up w/ 1 million babies wen im not even goin in that direction! im not even thinkin about sex rite now bein that i am a virgin & rite about now im jus havin fun but w/ my clothes on. but if i try 2 explain that 2 her the whole conversation turns in2 21 questions & evry 1 of my answers she tries 2 make it seem like im wrong. sumtimes i wish that i didnt turn 14. sumtimes i wish that i was like 8 years old so that i wont b looked upon as if im bein defiant or that im tryin 2 act more than my age. & its only jus my motha who acts this way towards me. i jus want her 2 still look @ me like Daryal my wonderful daughter instead of Daryal my wild child; or mayb thas the way i think she looks @ me now wen she really has no reason 2.

Yo!

hey umm...im contemplatin if i shuld go 2 wrk cuz i got in contact w/ my mommy & she on her way home now. i wanna go but then it mite b a waste of time if i do. dag...so many choices rite now. anyway rite now im jus starin in the mirror lookin @ myself thinkin bout wat i shuld do. its crazy cuz i look @ myself evryday but i do not think that i look asian! this is crazy! i've been teased bout that my whole life but i neva seen any resemblance. i thought @ work they wuldnt c it either but wen chris bought it up 1 day i was thinkin "damn they c it 2!" wen i was little i got really upset wen ppl wuld say i look like a lil chinese kidd & that jackie chan was my father or that jet li was my uncle (lmao-thas kinda funny now that i think about it) but now i jus laff along w/ them. even tho its kinda of annoyin cuz i heard it all my life i began 2 embrace the way i look. my face is very unique & i am beautiful in my own way & even in otha ppl's way ;). i wuldnt even trade faces w/ a woman who is proclaimed 2 me the most beautiful person in the world bcuz then i wuldnt b 100% daryal!

My First Day @ HL

Today is my first day @ Harlem Live And I must say that this day was sumthin that I have never experienced in my life! I say this bcuz today for the first time I sat in McDonald's & ate by myself. That is so weird 4 a person like me whom is always surrounded by people. I walked back in forth from the west side to the est side & actually got to this place too early! @ the orientation in Minisink I almost fainted becuz that auditorium was jus 2 hott! I met all new people today but it felt like I've known them 4 years. I went up 2 complete strangers & asked them questions about their fashion sense. Whatta Day!!! I can't 4shadow how my time @ HL will b but I know that I'm gonna do things that I've neva did, judgin by 2day!!